We are all transients here. Our time will come, and our time will go just as quickly. It's now been two weeks since my stepfather, Gennaro "Jerri" DiLauri, was killed in a tragic motorcycle accident. He woke up on the day of the accident just like any of us. He took a shower, got dressed, had some coffee, probably ate something and got on his bike to ride. He drove for miles enjoying life and doing something that made him happier than a pig in shit. But then, it was his time to go; and just that quickly, lives changed forever. My mom's life has changed in ways I can't possibly even begin to imagine. She lost a husband, a companion, a friend. If there was anything in the world I could do, or buy, or write, or think, or say that could take the pain away from her, you bet your ass I'd have done it already. His son and daughter have lost a father, a friend, a grandfather for their children...and I don't want to imagine that I'll have to endure the same thing one day. His brothers, his nephews, his friends, entire towns....it's all just a stunning tragedy.
From this tragedy, however, I have somehow seen a brighter picture. It seems almost unrealistically morbid to even write that. It seems downright cruel or insensitive. But while I understand their pain, I also have come to understand the joy that one human being can bring to this world; and it's mind-blowingly awesome.
I experienced a similar "rebirth" of my appreciation of humanity after my own accident. I don't in any way mean to compare experiences. Somehow, in what could have been something just as tragic, I was fine. It wasn't my time. But it was my time to realize that I wanted to be a better person, live my life honorably and have a fucking fantastic time doing it. It's been several years since then and I still strive to do that. I'm sure I've had my own rocky patches, but it's something I think about nearly every day.
Jerry's passing has re-focused my attention on that. Because it just as easily COULD have been my time. Then what? What has my life meant or done for others? I have to share that joy, that passion for life, that sincerity with people I love, with the guy at the store, or with somebody at a bar the way Jerry did.
As Jerry lived and Auntie Mame said, "Yes! Live! Life's a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!" Truer words have ne'er been spoken. Life is not a place to be shy about grabbing the first plate and stuffing yourself full. In fact, I'll see you in line for seconds, thirds... Thanks for the lesson, Jer'.
